The Muffin Top - You knew this post was coming

I've never been a skinny-mini, and it's always annoyed me.  Unfortunately for me, I love food too much to have felt like I could really change.  I almost think food has become an addiction.  I know what you're thinking, "Food an addiction?  It's not like you can give it up.  You have to eat or else you die!"  ... or at least something along those lines.

Yes, food is a necessity, but it can become an addiction.  I'm not constantly hungry, I'm not constantly craving foods, but I snack ALL DAY LONG.  It's actually kind of disgusting.  Every once in a while I try to give up the constant snacking.  I try to set specific meals; I try to avoid buying snacks when I'm grocery shopping; yet somehow I still manage to find snacks in my cupboard.  What do you do in that situation?

Now that it's warming up (no it's not, look out the window) everytime I want a snack, everytime I go to my cupboard other than at mealtimes I have to go for a walk, swim, or find something else useful to do (that doesn't involve spending money).  I want to be active.  I want to be a better asset to a team when I get drafted to play a game of basketball with the ward.  I want to be able to climb the stairs from the Smith Fieldhouse to the top of campus without being completely winded.  I want to be able to run a mile without giving up to walk at some point.  I want to be able to reach the top of Timp during a midnight hike in the middle of summer.

And of course, I want to look good.  I know that's not the most important part of being healthy, but it's really what everyone wants.  No one can deny that they want to look good.  Even the slobbiest person in the world looks for their positive qualities - a great smile, nice eyes, whatever.  Everyone wants to look good in some way.  I know I've got good qualities already - I love my hair.  I love my eyes.  I love my teeth.  But I know I can improve.  I want to be able to dress to impress.  I feel like being larger I am much more limited in my options of dressing well.  I don't look good in a lot of styles.  I don't look great in a swimsuit.  I can't stand wearing shorts, and I don't like short-sleeved shirts too much either.

I know a lot of this is just being insecure, but I do need to work on my appearance.  God gave me this body as one of His most precious gifts to mankind, who am I to destroy that gift?  I should cherish it and give it the care it deserves.  I should start treating it more appropriately and appreciatively.

So in my effort to fix this problem I have set some goals for myself this coming month:

1. Limit time on TV and any internet site not being used for homework - become social!
2. Don't eat when bored - go for a walk or do something active!
3. Walk to campus - it's such a nice walk too (especially when it starts getting warmer)
4. Work out every day after class
5. Go to ward basketball every week!

Of course there are more things to do than just those - but that's how it's going to start out.  I'll keep you posted.

Have a great day! :)

Some ways to make lemonade

When life gets pretty rough sometimes here are a few things to cheer me up (AKA Simple Pleasures):

Going to the Temple
Eating ice cream
Wearing a hat
Thinking back on a joke
Talking to someone you've lost connection with
Dancing to Disney music
Writing
Getting mail
Watching old movies
A friend's success
Receiving a compliment
Stretching
Sighing
Singing off-key
Giving service
Sitting on a hill
Feeling accomplished
Making cookies
Seeing boys wear a collared shirt and tie
Flirting
Smell of pine and/or cinnamon
Making lists
Checking an item off a list
Taking off your shoes
Dancing through life
Talking all night
Smiling at strangers
Wearing a hoodie with the hood up
Warm blankets
Cozy socks
Reading
Hugs
Sunshine
Spring warmth
Going for a walk - (in rain or shine)
Hot chocolate
Taking pictures
Being with the people you love
Knowing that a friend's got your back
Walking through Fall leaves
Looking through old pictures
Secret acts of service
Cleaning
Window shopping
Sitting around a fire
Running REALLY fast!
Watching YouTube videos of Disney stuff
Going to Disneyland (alright that one's not really a SIMPLE pleasure, but I like it :D )

There are many more simple pleasures, the list could go on for pages, but for now, I will keep it concise.

Attitude is made of Choices

Yesterday was a fantastic day.  I discovered a new way to make lemonade out of a lemon.

I was in sacrament meeting - I had been feeling really down on myself all day when the last speaker got up.  He said "alright, I know time is short and everyone is watching the clock, but just for a minute choose to wake up and listen."

Choose.

That's when I realized that your attitude and your emotions are choices you make.  You can choose to let something bother you, or you can choose to get over it, or even turn the situation around - making lemonade out of a lemon.  Suddenly I chose to grow up and let some of my drama take care of itself.  I wouldn't let the little things from the week get me down anymore.  This is serious, I just sat there and chose to have a good attitude . . . and it worked!  I instantly felt good.  I wasn't upset anymore about the little things that had put me in a bad mood last week.  I chose to smile, and I felt happy.

I also re-learned that people are much more approachable when they smile.  Sometimes when I'm at church I'll stand in the corner unsmiling, secretly hoping someone would come talk to me to try to cheer me up.  People don't do that.  People want to be happy, so they seek cheerful company. 

I talked to one of my guy-friends immediately after sacrament meeting - we just bumped into each other and started teasing each other; just a little flirting - nothing dramatic, but to a point where I definitely could be into him, though maybe to him it was just becoming a better friend.

As it got to be time for Sunday school to start and I started walking away from this guy to go into my class - he followed me in.  I have never seen him come to that classroom before.  He sat behind me and we talked a little more before the teacher began . . . and maybe a little during the lesson as well.  We talked about Heber and Dairy Keen - he told me he goes up there once in a while and said we should go get a shake together sometime.  I like that idea.  :)

I know I'm probably making this a bigger deal than it should be.  I'm sure that to him we're just friends, but I now have a new crush.

How does all this relate to the title of the post?  Well, this guy probably wouldn't have started talking to me if I had chosen to let him approach me while having a scowl across my face.  He talked to me because I was in a good mood.  Good things happen to people who have a positive attitude.  And my positive attitude came from the choices I made.  I chose to be happy.  He didn't approach me because I chose to talk to him, just because I chose to be happy. 

Attitude doesn't affect our choices; choices affect our attitude.

Saturday nights... Lemons

Tonight I was psyched.  I made 2 batches of cookies (about 8 dozen?)  and cleaned up the apartment... I was ready for my game night!  ... About 8 people showed up.  I guess it was pretty poor planning... I only announced it like last night, I think?  And it's a long weekend so plenty of people decided to go home, but I thought there would be a few more people that would come.  Nope.  LEMON.

I thought it would be a good way to meet more people in the ward that I don't really know yet.  Didn't work out.  Haha, none of my roommates even came!  Poor pathetic excuse for a party if you ask me.

Oh well.  Next time I will plan a little better.  I will let people know more in advance.  I will not have the party on a Saturday night.  Whatever.  Life is good.

Desparate Me... Lemon

I hate being the only single girl in the apartment (at least the only single girl with no prospects).  I hate never being asked out on dates.  I hate crushing on a guy, trying to actually talk to him with almost no response.  I hate going back and forth in feelings.  I hate crushing on one guy and having no success while another guy who I'm not crushing on but flirting with is semi-pursuing me, though we both know that no relationship will ever come from that flirting.  I hate waiting around for dates.  (I'll just say right now, if I were a guy I would be out going on dates every week.)  Most of all, I hate being desperate.  LEMON!

Tonight my roommate said, "You deserve a guy who treats you right, who gives you the praise you deserve."  Of course I know she is right, and I know that ultimately that is what I want, but as of right now, I just want a guy.  Just about any guy.  I am so sick of being single.  I know I shouldn't think that way, I should be looking for that right guy who is going to treat me right.  But right now, ya, I'm desperate.  And I hate that.  Maybe if I was surrounded by other single girls I'd be less desperate, but as spring is around the corner and we just had Valentine's day, love is in the air.  You become more aware of couples around you and you feel so alone.  I want a guy in my life.  Desperate me.  LEMON!!

I get so disgusted with myself for being so desperate.  I hate being this way, but I have no remedy ... no lemonade.  The only way to fix the problem that I can see would be to find a good guy that is interested in me.  But how do I go about snatching up a great guy?  Where do I find him?  Classes are a joke.  Everyone is focused on the material - there's no time to be looking around for a boyfriend (or their looking around for a girlfriend).  On campus?  No.  Guys are either hanging out with friends or studying their brains out.  Not going to happen.  In the ward?  Not much potential there.  If I'm comfortable around a guy, we've already established friendship and those foundations are hard (for some) to build a relationship on.  There's a guy that I am crushing on in the ward - but he's my friend, and I don't think he's interested in becoming anything more.

So where else do I look?  If you've got any suggestions, please share.

But it's not just about finding a boy, after I've found someone, where do I go?  I am not well-rehearsed in the art of flirting.  I am shy.  I understand the basic concepts (smiling, touching the arm, yada yada) but I don't know how to pull it off without coming on too strong.

I don't have a lemonade recipe for this lemon just yet... Still looking for that guy.

Valentine's Day - Not really a Lemon

I've never really hated Valentine's Day.  I've always been single, but I never really have cared.  Valentine's Day isn't neccessarily a romantic holiday in my eyes... it's a day of love - no matter what kind of love.  Whether it's love for family and friends or for the love of a significant other, love is love.

So if Valentine's Day is a lemon for you, let your friends and family know they are loved!  I guarantee that you will feel some love in return.  Better yet, do some service!  There's no way better than giving to feel the warmth of a loving heart.

"Families Can be Together Forever" and Crushes - 2 Lemons Today

I woke up very excited for the day - it's Sunday, my favorite day of the week!  I went to church excited to see friends and a boy that I'm crushing on.  I was ready to feel the Spirit and listen to words I needed to hear.  Sacrament meeting went very well; there were great lessons given about families.  There wasn't really much that definitely stuck out that I felt impressed that it was council given specifically for me, but I really enjoyed the talks.  Then came the closing hymn:  "Familes Can Be Together Forever".  I don't love this song - it always makes me cry.  Lemon #1

I've had so many losses in my family that I can't help but think of them (especially my brother, Bryce and nephew Cody) when this song begins to play.  By the end of the first verse my eyes are trickling and my mascara starts to run.  By the end of the second chorus I'm pretty much a wreck so through the entire closing prayer I was sniffling much too much, but then it was time to face the crowds and get a move on to Sunday school classes so I composed myself and put a smile on.  The smile wore off when I saw a crush holding another girl's hand.

I thought I was over him.  I thought I switched my focus onto another guy.  I guess this crush just hasn't completely faded.  I was hoping to see my newer crush and let flirting with him take my mind off the old crush today... but he didn't come to my class.  I was stuck with that image in my head all day because my new crush didn't sit by me.  Lemon #2.

During class my teacher gave an example about the Atonement and Resurrection using a story about his little brother who had passed away.  Brought back up Lemon #1 and of course I start to cry again.

These lemons are not the worst lemons I've had to endure, but they are a pain to deal with.  They're not the easiest to make lemonade out of - but it is possible. 

Lemonade #1 - Realize that the song rings true.  Families CAN be together forever, and I WILL see my brother and nephew again someday.  Think back on happy times with them.  Love them.

Lemonade #2 - Talk to the newer crush tonight at Ward Prayer.  Flirt it up, and hopefully that will distract from whoever the old crush is with in the background.  This may not sound like the best recipe, but hopefully it works.  And hopefully the new crush will be a better focus anyway.  Maybe, just  maybe, he might be more than a crush in the future.

Life is going to be full of lemons - sometimes just one lemon is thrown at you at a time, sometimes you have to take on 50 lemons.  It doesn't matter how many you receive, what matters is how you deal with each one individually.  You can't let one particularly sour lemon ruin the entire jar of lemonade.