First, I must express my sorrow for not paying attention as well as I should. General Conference is a time when my family gets together to listen to the Prophet. Our intentions of being together are pure, but being around my brother, sisters, theirs spouses, and especially their children, I get a little distracted... quite often. I probably only listened to less than a quarter of the Sunday afternoon session. Fortunately, one talk I did manage to listen to was Elder Scott's. I hope to find that same love for a man someday as he had for his sweet wife, Jeanene.
Then I look back on other messages from Conference. It's pretty apparent that we, as young adults, need to step up and really start paying more attention to assessing our priorities. Elder Oaks hit hard. What are my desires? My number one has always been marriage... but what kind of priority do I give it, really? I often complain about not getting dates, about how guys don't notice me. Whose fault is that? My own. Though Elder Oaks may have been addressing the single men more directly, I felt that it was important for me to hear as well. I've been the proponent of girls not asking guys out, that it's the guy's responsibility, but I notice that I haven't been doing my best to encourage guys to ask me on dates. I haven't been putting myself out there in the dating pool. I've been staying at home, watching movies while others are going out to game nights or finding other opportunities to spend time in group activities.
I need to make that effort. I need to get involved. I need to put myself out there - take my friend's advice and just "amp up the flirting". There are some guys in my life I'd like to get to know better, but I'm not doing anything about it. That's about to change.
My question for General Conference this year, though I did not write it out, has been something on my mind a lot lately. Should I stay in Utah and finish school, or should I move to California, give up school, and just begin my career? These talks about marriage are what gave me my answer.
I was talking to my roommate, Arielle, about giving up on school and moving to California to pursue a career at Disneyland. (Very ambitious, right?) Her response had nothing to do with school. It had nothing to do with future work possibilities. Though that was specifically what I asked, she gave me answers in a very different way, which at the time I had brushed away. Given these Conference addresses, I look back and see that she gave me the answer I had been looking for. "I know you're having trouble dating here, and I know that's one reason why you want to give up and leave. Moving to California isn't going to solve anything. I know there are good, faithful LDS guys out there, but there are so many more here. If you go out to California, you'll be giving up the opportunity to be in this dating pool - like the biggest dating pool for Mormons our age. Working at Disneyland will make you happy, but it won't give you joy."
I didn't ask her about marriage. That wasn't really the source of my question to her, and it wasn't even something I had thought about ... but she was right. I realize that no matter how much I love Disneyland, no matter how much I want to move out there, I need to stay here in Utah. I've lately (even before talking to her) been feeling a strong pull to stay in Utah, but I've been trying to ignore it. I felt like going out there I could do so much good. I could spread the Gospel with the people I work with. In reality I'd be giving up so much more than I'd gain.
Utah is the place I need to be. It's not just about marriage, but marriage has always been what I've thought of as my number one priority. I've been pushing it aside for too long - without realizing it. I thought that it was what I had been striving for. I thought that it had been on my mind almost too much. I realize that Disneyland is truly what has been on my mind too much. I've been putting work ahead of family - something I never thought I would do (particularly not before I'm even dating anyone).
These answers come so unexpectedly, in ways I don't even imagine. Life is amazing, and the Gospel is so true! When I pray, my prayers are answered. My questions are answered in ways I never imagine. I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know it is true, and I know that when I have questions, God will answer them.
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