Patience and Confidence

I may need to change the name of my blog - lately instead of being handed lemons, I've been given blessing after blessing!

Heavenly Father knows my weaknesses and my insecurities; He knows my fears and my sorrows.  I have been doing some deep thinking and sincerely praying and I know He's been listening to me.  For the longest time I think my answers have been "patience and confidence."  I needed to learn patience in this world where everything happens so fast.  I needed to learn to be more confident.  I've felt like I had so much to learn and I needed to take a long time to learn them both.

Today is not the time to go into depth about my personal prayers and my insecurities.  They're not something I want to publish for the world - this is between me and my Father in Heaven.

What this post is meant to say is that if you feel like you're not getting an answer to your prayers don't give up on Him.  Just because He's not answering you in the way you want doesn't mean He's not listening.  Just practice some patience and keep praying!  He is listening; He alone knows exactly what you're going through.

I am so blessed to be a part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I've grown up being taught that He is there and that He listens to me.  I've never doubted the truthfulness of the Gospel, and I never will. 

I thought I missed it...

Today has been one of the greatest days of my life.  After my total downer weekend I've been filled with such joy and love that I can barely keep it all contained!  I love my Heber friends, I love my ward and Bishop, I love my Provo friends... there is so much joy to be had, I can't believe I was too blind to see some of it over the weekend.

This morning I drove to Heber to help out my best friend, Ellen.  She's planning to compete in this year's Miss Wasatch pagaent and is hitting a roadblock with the talent portion of the competition.  Ellen is a very talented person, but so many of those talents that she possesses aren't those that she can showcase well.  She's chosen to sing a Broadway song in a comical way to showcase both her vocal skills as well as her talent for humor.  However, another talent she possesses is humility.  She was too shy to talk to our old high school choir director (who also coaches private voice lessons) for some help in her song selection.  I went to "help" her visit with him.  In reality I just wanted to visit as well.  I miss him and some of the other high school teachers!  Anyway, we were talking with him (just the usual bothering we've done for about 3 or 4 years now) and oh man, it was so much fun.  I remember why he was my favorite teacher.

A little later we went to the famous food place of Heber - Dairy Keen!  Good times were had there.  We caught up about our lives, and I realized just how much I missed my best friend.  I can't believe I've gone so long without really hanging out with her!  There is still so much catching up we've got to do.

After our ice cream and fries were finished we went to Five Penny Floral to visit the owner, and another of my best friends - Joshua Michel Knight.  I can't believe it's been so long since I've talked to him either!  We got some really great laughs in - oh my gosh I miss that guy!! 

As we finally left I thought about just how much I miss my old friends from Heber - how much I miss that small town that I thought I didn't like.  I really do love it.  I love the people (though right now there aren't that many around - but those who matter are still there!)  I pondered for a few minutes why I decided to stay in Provo during the summer.  Why didn't I come home to be with my amazing friends?

The answer came later this evening.  I do love and miss Heber, but I am where I am supposed to be. :)  I met with the Bishop today to get set apart for my new calling (Emergency Preparedness Co-chair - I am so excited about this!)  As I was there I sat around with friends, just waiting as the bishop would ask each of us to go into his office for callings, setting apart, whatever.  After I was finished I decided to stay there and just chat with friends.  I just had this feeling of peace - knowing that's where I needed to be.

I thought I wanted to go back to Heber.  I still miss my friends, but they're not far away.  I can visit anytime I want to, but I'm still here in Provo where I can still be in the YSA 154th ward with so many great people in my life.  I love my friends here.  I love everything about it.

I've thought a lot about moving back to California as well for various reasons, but all my doubts have been eliminated.  Provo is where I need to be, so Provo is where I shall stay.

Runner's Roadblocks

After reading a few blogs I've found posted by avid runners I realize I need to step it up a notch or two.  I've given myself a little slack because this is still so new to me and my biggest goal is to lose weight.  This should not be the case.  My biggest goal should be to be ready for the half marathon in January.  I keep kidding myself by getting into the midset that I still have 7 months to prepare and it's only 13.1 miles.  I cannot keep thinking that way!  I need to focus on the fact that I only have 7 months and it is 13.1 miles!  I'll be saying the same thing, but I've got to put it under a harsher light!  I also need to hurry up and get the money to register.  I think once I register I'll be more motivated!  I keep thinking to myself "Oh no!  What if they run out of slots?!"  Am I secretly hoping that they do before I find the funds?  I hope not!  I cannot stress enough how badly I want to shed these pounds, but I won't be motivated unless I find a reason.  The Tinkerbell Half Marathon is my reason.  I need to keep in my reason.  I need to hurry up and sign up so I can have my spot so I can have my motivation!