Disney College Program round 2!

Tonight I applied once again for the Disney College Program, but this time there was a very special surprise in store!  At the meeting they told us that in the past you were only allowed to apply for Walt Disney World OR the Disneyland Resort; but for the first time in history they opened it up to where you can now apply for both programs!  The really cool thing about that is the fact that you don't have to apply for the same roles in both resorts!

Walt Disney World
I've never been to Walt Disney World, so it would be really fun to work there, but there are only 2 roles I'd accept there; I applied for Character and Character Host!  Tomorrow I have my audition to be a character and I am so excited!  There I'll get to learn a choreographed routine (I think from a parade) and do some character work.  I can't even put into words how excited I am!

Another great point about working in Walt Disney World instead of Disneyland is the fact that I could work there just for summer (April to August)!  That means I wouldn't have to miss a semester of classes, I wouldn't have to try to sell my housing contract, and I wouldn't have to leave my roommates and my amazing ward for more than 4 months.

Disneyland
I would absolutely LOVE to go back to Disneyland - it's really my dream to work there again!  I'd love to just make a career out of it, but I think for now I'll just go for the college program and possibly continue as a cast member as a Campus Rep.  Oh man, I've forgotton how much I really enjoyed it last time!  Though I would have to take school time off to work at Disneyland (they only offer the program January-August) I would just love it!  I just can't get over my excitement!!!  I can't even put into words what I'm feeling right now... if someone walked into my apartment they'd be so confused... oh my!


The biggest obstacle in my path is the down payment.  If I have to pay my first month rent upfront, I just don't see it happening.  Right now I'm such a broke, poor college student.  I really wish I could get around it somehow though... We'll just see what happens!

I know this blog post has been all over the place and I apologize for that, but I am so flustered and excited about the college program again!!!

A Good Chat and a Great Song

The other day as I was walking around the courtyard feeding Ferguson the Duck, and picking up the mail I ran into a guy from the ward.  He said he was craving a Jamba Juice smoothie ever since I told him I worked there so he invited me to go get one.  After we stopped by we walked back to Raintree and we sat by the stream and talked for a while.  We got to talking about how Facebook is a destroyer of lives, how I wish I could cancel my account but in reality it's not really an option.  We talked about how texting is the lazy, easy way out of really talking and getting to know someone.  We talked about the girl who was writing to him while he was on his mission and how that didn't work out when he got back home and they went on a date - there was just no "spark" for either of them, so they fell out of contact again.  We talked about the fact that I'm not dating anyone or really going on many dates.  He told me he was surprised by that.

I'm not saying that this guy wants to date me, and I don't think I'd want to date him.  We're friends, and I like the fact that we can talk about stuff like this without there being a desire on either side, we're both neutral parties.

I'm not really one to take a compliment gracefully.  Normally I'll reject and rebuttle; I'll tear myself down and point out my faults.  This time, I just listened to what he had to say.  He said I have a happiness and warmth just radiate from me and that it's something most people would like to be around; that it's a quality that people seek.  I told him about this past summer and how there were so many wonderful people in my life who really helped me gain a self-confidence.  I told him about how I haven't always radiated that warmth that draws people - how I used to be much more introverted.

This got me thinking - what was it that changed this summer?  How did I become the woman I am today instead of the girl I used to be?  Where did that confidence really come from?  Is it because I worked in retail where I was forced to be more outgoing?  I don't think so, because I worked the same way while in California.  Was it because Charlee got me out of the apartment?  I don't think so, because she was often with her boyfriend and I got out on my own a lot.  Was it because I started working out more?  I do think that had much to do with it.  I felt like I was accomplishing something everyday I was able to go to the gym, but I don't think that was really the root of it.  I think so much of it had to do with praying for confidence.  It came little by little, but it has grown and I still feel it growing.

Last night my roommates sat around discussing past boyfriends and dates they've been on.  I sat there feeling as though I had nothing to add to the conversation.  I felt ashamed by the fact that I haven't really been in a serious relationship.  I thought back to freshman year - my first roommates.  Stephanie is married, Arielle is getting married in December, and that just leaves me.  Arielle used to think that I'd be the first of the three of us to get hitched, though I never thought so.  I knew that I was still so introverted that it was going to take time for me to break out of my shell.  It's now 2 years later and I'm still searching - trying to figure out who I am and where I want to be.  Last night I was down on myself because I realized that it's taken me so long to just get into the dating pool.  I thought that because it's already taken me so long that it wouldn't come around for a while, still. 

As I sat there with my head on the table Charlee asked us what song we wanted to listen to.  I was in no mood to listen to anything sappy which is what I was sure Amy or Heather would choose based on the conversation.  Instead Amy chose a song by Josh Groban called "You Are Loved".  Listen to it now.  It talks about never giving up.  Everyone wants to be understood, everyone wants to be loved.  It's almost as though it's sung from Christ's point of view.  He loves us, and he always will.  He understands us.  We are loved.

Home for an Entire Year

As I was browsing through Facebook a few days ago I noticed on the sidebar where there are usually advertisements I was shown what my status was on August 12, 2010:  "My last shift at the Happiest Place on Earth."  That means that I've been back home in Utah for an entire year, and oh what a year it has been!

I've had many ups and downs this year.  I've had moments where I've dwelt in the past - just wishing I could return to live in Anaheim and work at Disneyland.  I've had moments when I've looked to the future - graduating from BYU and establishing a career.  I've been torn up inside to have been home alone many nights during the winter while my roommates were out with friends or on dates and I figured there must be something wrong with me - why wasn't I going on dates or making good friends?  Finally I got out of that funk when springtime started creeping in and I got out of the apartment a little more with Charlee and her friends. 

By the time Summer hit and I switched apartments to be on the courtyard side of the building I felt more at home in the ward and got to know people better.  I started hanging out with people a lot more, I started going on more dates - things overall just started falling into place!  What had suddenly changed?  Me.  I had grown a lot more confident in a short space of time.  I became a lot more outgoing myself - I hosted movie nights and asked others if they were doing game nights, I was more forward in my dating attempts, and I was outside a lot more so when people would pass by they'd notice me and invite me to hang out.  I also made some great friends that were determined to pull me even more out of my shell.  If there was ever a group something-or-other going on and I opted out they'd bug me until I said I'd go.

Now fall is approaching.  Tomorrow I move out of my apartment back around to the outside of the building.  Soon classes will start up again and schedules will change.  I will have to put in more of an effort to see and hang out with people.  It will be a test of my strength.  It will be a test to see just how much I really have grown in the past few months.  Will I be able to continue my social life without having other people try to persuade me to join in?  Only time will tell, but I am going to try as hard as I can to keep my outgoing attitude alive.  I'm going to work at being forward and learn how to better get to know people and establish better friendships and relationships. 

There have been many times over the year when I've wanted to give up this life to move back to where I was a year and a half ago - I just wanted to work at Disneyland.  Today I don't quite have that same desire.  Yes, someday I'd love to return to the Magic Kingdom to spread happiness, but right now I love where I am!  I am truly happy!  I'm making great friends and getting to know people.  My happiness at Disneyland came from my work, not from people.  I didn't have many great friends in Anaheim.  I had a couple roommates I enjoyed spending time with, but I was usually a loner.  After this summer I couldn't go back to that lifestyle.  I love where I am now.  This year back home has changed me so much.  I love who I am and what I'm doing!  I can't look back on the past anymore; I will continue to keep moving forward.

Every time the rain begins to fall I can't help but start to smile.  When it turns into a full-blown thunderstorm and downpour of rain I get really excited!

Rain isn't the typical favorite kind of weather.  For many it can be a least favorite because it disrupts plans to be outside for the day, takes a toll on travel, and just looks gloomy.  There are many songs dedicated to rain as being a bad thing; Bring on the Rain, Come on Rain, and Rainy Days and Mondays just to name a few.  Poor rain, it gets such a bad reputation.

I, for one, absolutely love the rain.  It really is my favorite weather.  When I tell that to my friends and family they give me a strange look and say "Ya, I like the rain, but I'd much rather have sun."  I tell them I'm the other way around.  When it rains I feel calm.  I love being outside during a rainstorm - taking a walk, reading on my balcony, whatever it takes to get me near that water that falls from the heavens.  It's beautiful, crisp, and clear. 

I can't explain it completely, but it's just perfect.  Besides, you can never have the rainbow without a little rain.

"I Open at the Close"

This morning I went to see the final installment of the Harry Potter series.  It's over.  It began for me 12 years ago - I was in elementary school and everyone was reading the Harry Potter books.  I was (like I am now) a non-conformist and didn't want to read the books because everyone else was so absorbed in them.  I was busy reading other books that weren't quite as popular anyway.

One day my mom took me grocery shopping at Sam's Club and when we first entered the store there was a HUGE stack of Harry Potter books 1-3.  My mom knew that I loved reading, so she grabbed a copy of each and told me she'd just heard about them and thought I might enjoy it.  I rolled my eyes, but didn't object to her buying them.  That day when we got home my curiosity got the better of me and I sat down to read The Sorcerer's Stone.  The first chapter didn't quite do it for me, though I know that a lot of other people were immediately hooked.  I decided to continue reading anyway.  Once Harry finally got to school I became fascinated!  I probably finished the book in a week (which is saying something since I was in 2nd grade!)  I turned to the second and third books and fell in love with the series!  I guess it wasn't popular just because people decided to jump on the bandwagon - it was actually really good!

When I first heard that they were going to make a movie I wanted to be in it, of course.  I was just turning 11 that year - perfect age to play Hermione (though many people said since I have red hair I should have wanted to be Ginny).  Unfortunately I found out a week later that they were already halfway done with filming - wow I guess I missed the boat completely on that one.  No matter - I went to see the movie on opening day with my sister and brother-in-law.  The entire time I was whispering to her "Oh no!  They left out that part?!"  Looking back, I don't miss too much of what was left out; the movie would have gone on for at least 5 hours if everything was included!

Today - 12 years later, having read each book 9 times, I saw the final movie.  It's interesting to wonder - with Harry Potter being such a huge piece of our culture, what will the world's attention turn to now?  Sure Twilight (something I still refuse to read/watch) has had its moments in the sun, but it has never captivated so much of the world as Harry Potter had.

It's over.  More than half my lifetime was spent in the company of Harry, Ron, and Hermione.  I will still continue to re-read the books and watch the movies occasionally, but there will be nothing more added.  My memories will live on, but the characters will cease to develop and there will be no more adventures within the Hogwarts castle.

Today I lift my wand in the air in tribute to Harry Potter, "the Boy Who Lived" and to J.K. Rowling for creating a masterpiece, a timeless classic that will continue to live on in memory, and something that will be read and watched time and time again.  Long live Harry Potter!

Happy Thoughts

The opening shifts at Jamba Juice are my favorite shifts for many reasons.  The opening crew is great - these people are just happy people.  Of course we all have our bad days or bad moments, but these people get over those bad moments rather than dwelling on them and bringing their problems to work.  Whether it's blasting Disney music in the store or playing "Guess that Disney song/character" it's hard to stay down in an atmosphere that is so positive.

Yesterday my friend, Susan, introduced me to a game she's played many times - the "Happy Thoughts" game.  Every 15 minutes you write down something that makes you happy.  To make it even more challenging for us, after we were an hour or two into the game we decided we couldn't use any more Disney happy thoughts.  It was more fun to come up with things unrelated to Disney, because then we notice how truly blessed we are.

My list included things such as:  rain, reading, ukuleles, going on walks, and writing in my journal.  Susan's list included:  cooking, anything that smells like pumpkin, and cutting out paper snowflakes.  Nick's list was probably the most entertaining because he played it off as more of a joke, but still happy thoughts:  Covering and uncovering his ears while vacuuming (making funny noises), orange carrot juice, and looking (out-of-focus) at Christmas lights.

All of these happy thoughts, whether on my own list or on theirs, could have been on my own.  There are so many things that I could have written, but there just wasn't enough time to list them all.  This is definitely a game I'd like to play throughout each day.  It's kind of like finding those simple pleasures in life and just going with it.  There are so many little things in life that can make a person happy, it's hard to understand why there is so much sadness in the world.

Happy Independence Day!  There are times when we all moan and gripe about the government, but when it comes right down to it, we have more freedom than most countries - freedoms some dare not even dream about.  I'm proud to be an American!